Big Orange Army News
Big news from the Big Orange Army as Tennessee Governor Bredesen joins The Big Orange Army! For more on this story, go to www.bigorangearmy.com for all the details!
Coach Fulmer’s Post Practice notes
Tennessee head coach Phillip Fulmer’s words walking off the practice field Wednesday were along the lines Vols fans have been hoping to hear: “We have made ourselves a better football team in the last two days.”
“I’m proud of the way our coaches and our players have gotten themselves ready,” Fulmer said. “We’re still addressing areas we need to work on. We just have to take it from the practice field to the game field and play well. The team seems very focused and I like that.”
Fulmer announced that captains for Saturday’s 7 p.m. kickoff (Vol Network, VideoSeat pay-per-view) are linebacker Jerod Mayo, defensive end Xavier Mitchell, tight end Chris Brown, quarterback Erik Ainge and punter Britton Colquitt.
Colquitt named to Ray Guy Award watch list
The Greater Augusta Sports Council announced Tuesday the watch list for the 2007 Ray Guy Award, and Tennessee junior Britton Colquitt is among the early selectees.
Colquitt is averaging 43.3 yards per punt in the early going of 2007 despite having battled a quadriceps injury suffered late in the preseason. The Knoxville native earned consensus All-SEC honors last season after a 44.9-yard average that was the fourth-best in school history. The Ray Guy Award will be presented live Dec. 6 on ESPN during the Home Depot College Football Awards Show.
Observations from the Sarge
As a public service to all the Vol fans dealing with tough times in the Big Orange Nation, Sgt. Scooter is here to help. Below are some steps you can take to get over the long days between Sunday and Friday after a loss. Trust me, these things work, so I urge that you try them out since we do not want any suicides during football season.
1. Under any circumstances, do not watch ESPN, Fox Sports, or any sports station or talk radio station until at least Wednesday. Try watching QVC, or Telemundo, or eliminate a step and find the Spanish QVC with hotties selling books on how to do your own cat juggling. The idea here is to find a distraction, ANY distraction to get you through until Wednesday.
2. Go down to your man cave, turn out the lights, put on some Foghat, and sip on a little of “Daddy’s Apple Juice” to numb the pain. Then again, the Sarge does that after a loss, a win, or during the orange and white spring game so that can turn into a real knee slapper no matter what time of the year it is…
3. Never, ever, read the Sunday paper because it will put the healing process in retreat. Last weekend, my brother, Soup, who was visiting for the weekend, pulled out the paper at the breakfast table and began reading aloud about the game. I ended up throwing my bowl of Wheaties into the sink from my seat at the table, which was a great throw and catch, but Referee Sweetie (The Wife) blew her whistle and I got a 15 day un-husbandlike conduct penalty which relegated me to the guest room for two weeks. With every word hitting my body I knew what Sonny Corleone must have felt like when Barzini’s goons were lighting him up with machine gun bullets on the causeway.
4. Leave all flags and banners up until Sunday evening. You don’t want your neighbors to start teasing you at the next homeowner’s association meeting. “Yeah, Sarge, you took those flags down so quick after the game, I thought you were surrendering the neighborhood.”
5. Take your bottle of “Daddy’s Apple Juice” and hit yourself over the head like Rudy in Bachelor Party. It won’t change the final score, but it will give you something else to think about for the next few days.
6. Throwing something always helps. My Uncle Frank did his imitation of Lawrence from Everybody’s All-American as he heaved my radio through an open window in the man cave after Foster’s fumble. For the rest of the game, he seemed better, but he also seemed to have a torn rotator cuff, so make sure if you are going to throw something, make it small and light.
7. Breaking furniture is a great cure for the red ass. My partner in crime, Coach B, used to break his kids chairs when things would go wrong, and it seemed to help. Of course, he would spend Sunday at the Babies-R-Us buying kids furniture which was painful since he usually would be hungover, and the sound of screaming kids would be punishment enough as far as his wife was concerned.
I hope those helped. Let’s just pray we don’t have to use those for the rest of the year.
Mailbag
Did anyone here the comment Danielson made in the 1st quarter where he said, and I quote, "The Gator receivers are gooder than most people think." I haven't heard the word gooder since I was 6 yrs old.
Chris, Atlanta, GA
Yeah, I heard it, but the sound of Coach B breaking my daughter’s furniture distracted me for a few minutes. I heard the real reason why Dan Rather is suing CBS is not because of his reporting error, but because he wants whoever hired “The Genius” to be canned since he is an embarrassment to the company, as well as mankind everywhere.
So tell me how do you feel about Tebow? You forgot to add he already has his Law Degree and is going to defend both OJ and Michael Vick. It looks like UT and Notre Dame may be slugging it out for the bottom spot in college football this year. It will be the Sumo Bowl. Fat Phil and Chunky Charlie in a couple of diapers squaring off at mid field.
Dave, Roswell, GA
(In my best Little Enos voice from Smokey and the Bandit) Gimmie a Big Mac and fries on Coach Fulmer and the under on how many times Charlie Weis’ diaper will fall off.
I agree with you about “Super” Lou Holtz. He spent all of 2005 calling D. J. Shockley, D.J. Stokley. Can we get Rece Davis to turn off his oxygen?
Brian, Roanoke, VA
I did some checking, Brian, and found Lou Holtz died in 1923, along with Beano Cook, in a tragic locker room lisping accident. In a Stalin like cover up, ESPN denies the story, but props them both up every week and use computer animation to move their lips.
Sgt. Scooter, tell us it will get better. Tell us we will beat alabama, even if no one else. Help us to hunker down and weather this miserable storm. Help us see the light of day in an orange hue Searge…
Bama Bob, Somewhere in Alabama
Thanks, Bob. I appreciate you taking time to send me a message, although I couldn’t send you a thank you note since you didn’t leave a return email address. I’m not sure why you would be writing to me since it sounds like you are an Alabama fan. How did I guess? Well, you didn’t capitalize your own state name and you didn’t spell Sarge correctly. I guess when your team has had more coaching changes (5) instead of wins (2) over Tennessee since ‘97, a Bama fan like you (fan, not graduate) is apt to be distracted when talking to a Tennessee fan. Tell ya what, Bob, next time you want to send me a message, please get spell check on your computer, and try to have some sense of intelligence, ok? You are giving the real Alabama fans a bad name. (See how the capital A works in the word Alabama?)
I appreciate your blog, your humor, and your sarcasm as I also enjoyed Saturday's broadcast with all the enthusiasm of a purple pelican being corked by a buffalo. But it’s time to make some changes. Special teams coach, defensive line coach, defensive coordinator, and possibly receivers coach all need to go. Let's toss in the secondary coach as I haven't seen a Tennessee defensive back turn around and find the ball in flight since Aunt Bee was threatening to leave Mayberry. I like and support Coach Fulmer, but enough is enough.
Pvt. Paul – Big Orange Army, Alabama
Pvt. Paul, I appreciate your email, and I liked your humor too. I agree our boys have not played well the last few years and the coaches do have to take some responsibility for the team. We have all these great recruiting classes, and what do we have to show for it? Florida has better talent, LSU is awesome, and we have to worry about USC, Georgia and Kentucky in our own division. Just keep the faith, Pvt. Paul, and don’t jump ship just yet since there is a lot of football to be played. I do not think this will be our only loss in the SEC the rest of the year, but I want you to get behind the Vols since they are our team for better or worse. Oh, gee, I sound like I just got married again. And I thought the Vols loss last week was all I had to be concerned about. I am on day five of sleeping the guset room and that really bites…
All right, Vol fans, take a deep breath and let’s look forward to Saturday against Arkansas State. Good thing it is not Arkansas, right? Keep those emails coming in, as well as visit the Big Orange Army website and enlist today if you have not already. Don’t forget to rub those orange and white rosary beads, repeat your game maxims and never take Coach Fulmer’s name in vain. Go Big Orange!
Tennessee head coach Phillip Fulmer’s words walking off the practice field Wednesday were along the lines Vols fans have been hoping to hear: “We have made ourselves a better football team in the last two days.”
“I’m proud of the way our coaches and our players have gotten themselves ready,” Fulmer said. “We’re still addressing areas we need to work on. We just have to take it from the practice field to the game field and play well. The team seems very focused and I like that.”
Fulmer announced that captains for Saturday’s 7 p.m. kickoff (Vol Network, VideoSeat pay-per-view) are linebacker Jerod Mayo, defensive end Xavier Mitchell, tight end Chris Brown, quarterback Erik Ainge and punter Britton Colquitt.
Colquitt named to Ray Guy Award watch list
The Greater Augusta Sports Council announced Tuesday the watch list for the 2007 Ray Guy Award, and Tennessee junior Britton Colquitt is among the early selectees.
Colquitt is averaging 43.3 yards per punt in the early going of 2007 despite having battled a quadriceps injury suffered late in the preseason. The Knoxville native earned consensus All-SEC honors last season after a 44.9-yard average that was the fourth-best in school history. The Ray Guy Award will be presented live Dec. 6 on ESPN during the Home Depot College Football Awards Show.
Observations from the Sarge
As a public service to all the Vol fans dealing with tough times in the Big Orange Nation, Sgt. Scooter is here to help. Below are some steps you can take to get over the long days between Sunday and Friday after a loss. Trust me, these things work, so I urge that you try them out since we do not want any suicides during football season.
1. Under any circumstances, do not watch ESPN, Fox Sports, or any sports station or talk radio station until at least Wednesday. Try watching QVC, or Telemundo, or eliminate a step and find the Spanish QVC with hotties selling books on how to do your own cat juggling. The idea here is to find a distraction, ANY distraction to get you through until Wednesday.
2. Go down to your man cave, turn out the lights, put on some Foghat, and sip on a little of “Daddy’s Apple Juice” to numb the pain. Then again, the Sarge does that after a loss, a win, or during the orange and white spring game so that can turn into a real knee slapper no matter what time of the year it is…
3. Never, ever, read the Sunday paper because it will put the healing process in retreat. Last weekend, my brother, Soup, who was visiting for the weekend, pulled out the paper at the breakfast table and began reading aloud about the game. I ended up throwing my bowl of Wheaties into the sink from my seat at the table, which was a great throw and catch, but Referee Sweetie (The Wife) blew her whistle and I got a 15 day un-husbandlike conduct penalty which relegated me to the guest room for two weeks. With every word hitting my body I knew what Sonny Corleone must have felt like when Barzini’s goons were lighting him up with machine gun bullets on the causeway.
4. Leave all flags and banners up until Sunday evening. You don’t want your neighbors to start teasing you at the next homeowner’s association meeting. “Yeah, Sarge, you took those flags down so quick after the game, I thought you were surrendering the neighborhood.”
5. Take your bottle of “Daddy’s Apple Juice” and hit yourself over the head like Rudy in Bachelor Party. It won’t change the final score, but it will give you something else to think about for the next few days.
6. Throwing something always helps. My Uncle Frank did his imitation of Lawrence from Everybody’s All-American as he heaved my radio through an open window in the man cave after Foster’s fumble. For the rest of the game, he seemed better, but he also seemed to have a torn rotator cuff, so make sure if you are going to throw something, make it small and light.
7. Breaking furniture is a great cure for the red ass. My partner in crime, Coach B, used to break his kids chairs when things would go wrong, and it seemed to help. Of course, he would spend Sunday at the Babies-R-Us buying kids furniture which was painful since he usually would be hungover, and the sound of screaming kids would be punishment enough as far as his wife was concerned.
I hope those helped. Let’s just pray we don’t have to use those for the rest of the year.
Mailbag
Did anyone here the comment Danielson made in the 1st quarter where he said, and I quote, "The Gator receivers are gooder than most people think." I haven't heard the word gooder since I was 6 yrs old.
Chris, Atlanta, GA
Yeah, I heard it, but the sound of Coach B breaking my daughter’s furniture distracted me for a few minutes. I heard the real reason why Dan Rather is suing CBS is not because of his reporting error, but because he wants whoever hired “The Genius” to be canned since he is an embarrassment to the company, as well as mankind everywhere.
So tell me how do you feel about Tebow? You forgot to add he already has his Law Degree and is going to defend both OJ and Michael Vick. It looks like UT and Notre Dame may be slugging it out for the bottom spot in college football this year. It will be the Sumo Bowl. Fat Phil and Chunky Charlie in a couple of diapers squaring off at mid field.
Dave, Roswell, GA
(In my best Little Enos voice from Smokey and the Bandit) Gimmie a Big Mac and fries on Coach Fulmer and the under on how many times Charlie Weis’ diaper will fall off.
I agree with you about “Super” Lou Holtz. He spent all of 2005 calling D. J. Shockley, D.J. Stokley. Can we get Rece Davis to turn off his oxygen?
Brian, Roanoke, VA
I did some checking, Brian, and found Lou Holtz died in 1923, along with Beano Cook, in a tragic locker room lisping accident. In a Stalin like cover up, ESPN denies the story, but props them both up every week and use computer animation to move their lips.
Sgt. Scooter, tell us it will get better. Tell us we will beat alabama, even if no one else. Help us to hunker down and weather this miserable storm. Help us see the light of day in an orange hue Searge…
Bama Bob, Somewhere in Alabama
Thanks, Bob. I appreciate you taking time to send me a message, although I couldn’t send you a thank you note since you didn’t leave a return email address. I’m not sure why you would be writing to me since it sounds like you are an Alabama fan. How did I guess? Well, you didn’t capitalize your own state name and you didn’t spell Sarge correctly. I guess when your team has had more coaching changes (5) instead of wins (2) over Tennessee since ‘97, a Bama fan like you (fan, not graduate) is apt to be distracted when talking to a Tennessee fan. Tell ya what, Bob, next time you want to send me a message, please get spell check on your computer, and try to have some sense of intelligence, ok? You are giving the real Alabama fans a bad name. (See how the capital A works in the word Alabama?)
I appreciate your blog, your humor, and your sarcasm as I also enjoyed Saturday's broadcast with all the enthusiasm of a purple pelican being corked by a buffalo. But it’s time to make some changes. Special teams coach, defensive line coach, defensive coordinator, and possibly receivers coach all need to go. Let's toss in the secondary coach as I haven't seen a Tennessee defensive back turn around and find the ball in flight since Aunt Bee was threatening to leave Mayberry. I like and support Coach Fulmer, but enough is enough.
Pvt. Paul – Big Orange Army, Alabama
Pvt. Paul, I appreciate your email, and I liked your humor too. I agree our boys have not played well the last few years and the coaches do have to take some responsibility for the team. We have all these great recruiting classes, and what do we have to show for it? Florida has better talent, LSU is awesome, and we have to worry about USC, Georgia and Kentucky in our own division. Just keep the faith, Pvt. Paul, and don’t jump ship just yet since there is a lot of football to be played. I do not think this will be our only loss in the SEC the rest of the year, but I want you to get behind the Vols since they are our team for better or worse. Oh, gee, I sound like I just got married again. And I thought the Vols loss last week was all I had to be concerned about. I am on day five of sleeping the guset room and that really bites…
All right, Vol fans, take a deep breath and let’s look forward to Saturday against Arkansas State. Good thing it is not Arkansas, right? Keep those emails coming in, as well as visit the Big Orange Army website and enlist today if you have not already. Don’t forget to rub those orange and white rosary beads, repeat your game maxims and never take Coach Fulmer’s name in vain. Go Big Orange!
1 comment:
Sgt. Scooter,
Thanks for keeping our focus on where it should be right now - forward and looking ahead to our next Big Orange victims. I was just wondering if you heard that Tim Tebow is going to be running for president on the Independent ticket, and his running mate will either be his roommate (who gave him a kiss during the game) or Kenny Chesney (who was last seen in concert in Gainesville doing the Gator chomp and sporting a Florida football helmet)
GO VOLS ! Beat ARKANSAS STATE
PFC Tim Munsey
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