Thursday, November 29, 2007

SEC Championship Week

The Vols are going to Atlanta to play for the SEC Championship!


For those of you who are still alive, and for a time, I wasn’t sure if the Sarge was going to check in to the big Neyland Stadium in the sky, it is time to put every ounce of energy into one final game to get our brave boys in orange ready for the always tough LSU Tigers. Whatever you do, don’t watch a replay of the Kentucky game. The Vols might not have won. By the way, the Sarge was doing his Ryan Karl imitation (bottom left) after the game was over…

The Sarge will be in the Dome with one of the best seats in the house as he will be covering the game for a local paper here in Atlanta. And before you ask, the answer is yes, if I see Danielson in the press box, I am going to slap him so hard he will begin to make sense, and then I am going to make him hold my coat.




Coach Fulmer’s weekly press conference comments:

“Needless to say, we are very excited about the opportunity to represent the Southeastern Conference Eastern Division in the championship game. I believe that it is one of the greatest settings in all of college football. I’ve been fortunate to go a lot of places and play in a lot of stadiums in a lot of big games and, to me, the Southeastern Conference has created an environment there that is almost second to none.

“We’re a young football team. I don’t think that it will happen, but I in no way want them to be intimidated by the setting. It is one of the greatest opportunities that they will have. I have two notes that I made to myself that I kept on my desk all year long. One of them is ‘have fun,” and we have had fun with this team. It has been frustrating at times for them and for us as a staff and the people that follow our program. The players have been responsive, and that’s the fun part about it. The second one says “I believe,” and I have not lost any faith in this football team all year long when we understand how we have to play as a team. It has been challenging; it has been very fun, and the fun has overridden any frustration that we had with our group because it is a wonderful group of young men to work with and to coach.

“When you look at LSU—and we have seen them all year long on film because of common opponents—they are a very talented football team. Offensively, the balance they can present you with makes it really difficult. The quarterback is a heck of a player. He’s done an outstanding job of leading their offense. They are so multiple and do so many things that they are hard to defend. They have a big, physical offensive front, outstanding receivers, an outstanding running back, really just the whole package as an offense.

Thanks to all the great Vol fans like these guys:

Here is a shout out to some great Vol fans that made the trip north to support the Vols, while risking a chance of a Joe B. Hall sighting. Trust me, Vol fans, that’s one joker I NEVER want to see again. My cousin Stew once went to the Joe B. Hall basketball camp and he ran into the old coach coming out of the locker room wearing only a towel and sipping on a can of RC Cola. Stew is still in rehab somewhere in Tennessee and due for release sometime in the year 2017.

From the left, Private Michael Erpenbach, Private Conner Harville, the multi-talented Erik Ainge, and Private Christopher Erpenbach. It is great UT fans like you guys that got the Vols through Saturday’s game!

Announcer Review

"Foster runs it outside down the sideline and is bumped out of bounds and will stop the clock. Well, the clock's not running. Oh, we're in overtime."- Craig Bolerjack

Great insight, Bolerjack. I was telling Coach B that Bolerjack’s name reminds me of the name of the cheese log my Uncle Ted gave us one Christmas with his Hickory Farms employee discount.

"Florida State has a chance to win this game by outscoring the Gators."- Lee Corso

Can they win even if they don’t outscore them? Have another swig of Geritol Corso, you’ll be all right.

"And that's Miami's 1st first down of the season."- Pam Ward

Gee, that offense was worse than we thought…

"This is his last home game here at home."- Andre Ware on UVA's Chris Long

Well, he could play his final home game in Blacksburg, but that wouldn’t really count.

"If you're going to underthrow the ball, you have to do it short."- Ed Cunningham

As opposed to an underthrow when you throw it over the receiver’s head.

"The thing you have to realize is that these teams are in un-chartered waters."- Kirk Herbstreit

Were these teams being coached by the Skipper and Gilligan?

"We were wondering what you were giving him for after the game. You know my partner over here....."- Bob Griese

"I thought you were giving him a Bud."- Paul Maguire

That’s a good idea. Give Manure a ton of Buds, then maybe he will pass out in the booth so we don’t have to hear him. Then again, if that happens, how will they get the crane up to the press box to move him?

“USC is a cinch to go to one of the three remaining BCS Bowl Games....maybe the Fiestus Bowl. That would be the likely suspect.”- David Norrie

They could also go to the Festus Bowl to play for the Gunsmoke Trophy. Marshall Dillon could do the coin flip. Miss Kitty could sew the uniforms…








Saturday’s games of note:

MAC Championship: Central Michigan v. Miami (OH) (ESPN2, 11:00 am) - Pam Ward, Ray Bentley, Rob Simmelkjaer

Speaking of MAC’s, doesn’t Pam Ward look like Mayor McCheese? Here is a picture of her in the booth before last Saturday’s game.







C-USA Championship: Tulsa v. Central Florida (ESPN,12:00) - Dave Pasch, Andre Ware, Erin Andrews

Why is Erin Andrews doing the C-USA game? Shouldn’t she be doing a game that will have more than three people watching?

SEC Championship: LSU v. Tennessee (CBS, 4:00) - Verne Lundquist, Gary Danielson, Tracy Wolfson

On second thought, I am going to give “The Genius” a case of Private Sofie’s favorite product, Boudreaux’s Butt Paste, since he is the biggest horse’s ass I have ever heard.









ACC Championship: Boston College v. Virginia Tech (ABC, 1:00) - Brad Nessler, Bob Griese, Paul Maguire, Bonnie Bernstein

However, Manure might have the biggest horse’s ass I have ever seen…










Pittsburgh @ West Virginia (ESPN, 7:45) - Mike Patrick, Todd Blackledge, Holly Rowe

I wonder if Holly Rowe will be wearing an outfit that looks similar to the West Virginia Mountaineer mascot. Hey, nothing like a hot blonde in tight pleather, right?







Arizona @ Arizona State (ESPN2, 8:00) - Mark Jones, Bob Davie, Stacey Dales

Where are Petros Papadakis and Barry Tompkins when you need them? Then again, Tompkins bed time is probably 6:00pm so the kick off was too late for him.

California @ Stanford (VS, 7:00) - Ted Robinson, Kelly Stouffer, Lewis Johnson

Is it just me, or is Cal still playing football? The Bears disappeared quicker than a stack of chili dogs at the Paul Manure Old Announcers BBQ. I heard a lot of their fat mouths spouting off after beating the Vols, but the choke job they displayed before the world was a thing of beauty and has caused many to hid under a rock. In the SEC, real football fans who support real football teams know you have to wait until after the season to talk. The Cal fans have not gotten that memo, or maybe it has not gotten up to their trees yet, so we are once again assigned the task of educating their sorry asses. Check out this pic. The Bears are so bad, they don't even realize that to score a touchdown, they have to turn around to cross the goal line (left). It's the other way, guys...

All right, Vol fans, as Kurt Russell said in Miracle, this is our time. Be proud, be loud, and enjoy the moment on Saturday. Rub those orange and white rosary beads, repeat your game maxims and never take Coach Fulmer’s name in vain. Go Big Orange!

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