2007 has been a crazy year in college football, and the One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest mentality Thursday, October 25th Boston College @ Virginia Tech (ESPN, 7:45 Thu) - Chris Fowler, Todd Blackledge, Craig James, Erin Andrews 
has trickled down to the SEC, particularly in the East where five of the six teams have two losses. Our brave boys in orange suffered an inexplicable butt whipping at the hands of an Alabama team that came into the game better prepared and executed their game plan flawlessly on both sides of the ball and special teams. As far as Tennessee’s execution, well, I am all for it….
As I watched the final seconds tick down, I was comatose in front of my TV. Don’t ask me why I watched the whole thing, other than the fact I watch every Tennessee game to the end because I do not want to desert my troops in battle, plus I think I am a closet masochist. Then again, to be a fan of the Vols means you have some masochistic tendencies somewhere. Of course, as the gloom set in, I did what I always do after a loss, and that 
was flip it over to Telemundo so I could watch a burrito eating contest between members of a mariachi band with guys who looked like Speedy Gonzales’s fat cousin, Hector. The winner was someone nicknamed the “Don Juan of the Burritos,” which left me a little frightened, but at least it took my mind off the game as I looked for my Foghat CD’s for some extended man cave time.
This sets up another huge game to be played on Saturday as South Carolina comes to Knoxville in an elimination game in the Eastern Division. USC, along with Florida, controls their own destiny in the East, but the Vols could get back into it by winning out, then have the Gators lose once more. In the SEC this year, anything is possible. The game will be seen on ESPN at 7:45.
Coach Fulmer’s comments on the upcoming South Carolina game
“We are very excited about this opportunity to play in this football game against South Carolina. I certainly understand our challenges as we go in, but to have the national television opportunity in front of a full stadium is going to be really exciting. I look forward to seeing our team today. We had yesterday off, but as I thought probably would happen, most of them were over here watc
hing tape on their own. It was good to see. I am looking forward to practice today and starting to get ready for South Carolina.
“In athletics, like life, it’s about meeting challenges and making the most of each day that you have. Certainly, we know as a staff and as a football team where our challenges are. We know where our strengths are. We’ve got an incredible group of young men, fighters with character and good leadership on this football team. There are a lot of reasons to be excited.
“At times this year, we have played exceptionally good football, and that’s what we’re working to get back to. It has been a crazy year in college football and in the conference. We’re taking the approach that we are playing for a divisional championship this Saturday and each Saturday that follows.
Announcer Review
I knew things over at Coach B’s were going to be a mess. A few weeks ago, he swore that if he had to listen to “The Genius” Gary Danielson again, he would shoot out his TV. I laughed and thought he had been sipping a little too much of the “Brown Kool-Aid” but sure enough, he called me today and said, “Sarge, wanna go to Best Buy with me?” I asked, “I take it you watched the Florida-Kentucky game on Saturday. Let’s get you the 70-inch plasma screen. At least when you see Danielson on it, you’ll have a big enough target to shoot at.”
Here is the best of the worst from last Saturday:
10
. "When shoulder goes down the umph goes South."- Verne Lundquist
Wasn’t that a strategy your cousin Ted used when you played Operation with him?
9. "South Florida will be replaced in the 2-hole." Brent Musberger
As far as replacing a 2-hole, I think we should start with Musburger.
8. "They gave up 31 points to Troy and Brad Pitt wasn't the coach of that team."- Lee Corso
Oh, har, har. The old fart just made a joke…
7. "Good timeout by Penn State...you may catch them in a ball handling situation."- Andre Ware
All right, Andre. Just turn your head and cough.
6. "The guys say he is so precious with the young boys."- Holly Rowe
Was Les Miles hanging out with the New Kids on the Block before the game?
5. "Think about playing quarterback here at USC: Carson Palmer wins a Heisman, Matt Leinart wins a Heisman, John David Booty has played very well, and now Mark Sanchez. It's like going out as a runway model after Heidi Klum." - Pat Haden
Sounds like Notre Dame put Victoria Secret catalogs next to the USC media guides again.
And now two gems from "The Genius"
4. "That one looked like you were ordering an omelet at breakfast it was so open."- Gary Da
nielson
First of all, I have no frigging idea what “The Genius” is talking about with that comment, and second, too bad he wasn’t ordering an omelet at the Waffle House when Kid Rock opened up a can of whoop-ass last weekend. That would have been the greatest breakfast I have ever had since my Mom served us some of her world famous pumpkin grits to celebrate my Aunt Molly being paroled.
Aren't all play action fakes kept by the quarterback? Danielson is so dumb, he couldn’t produce a fart in a bean factory.
2. Bob Griese made reference to Brad Nessler's pink tie. Nessler says "Thank you, it's for breast awareness month."
1. “You finally shaved it off. Do you feel naked right now?”- Pam Ward
The words naked and Pam Ward in the same sentence is a serious case of bad ju ju.
This week’s games
College Gameday is at Penn State this week. Don't ever mention Penn State to me again. Every time I hear the name, I end up in a fetal position since the Lions always beat up the Vols worse than Ralphie pounding Scut Farkus in A Christmas Story.
Saturday, October 27th
West Virginia @ Rutgers (ABC, 12:00) - Brad Nessler, Bob Griese, Paul Maguire, Bonnie Bernstein
I heard Paul Manure walked around the stadium at last week’s game and everyone swore it was an eclipse.
Ball State @ Illinois (BTN, 12:00) - Jim Kelly, Chris Martin, Rick Pizzo
I want to party with Rick Pizzo. You could never be in a bad mood around a guy with a name like that. “Hey, Sarge, it’s Rick. Let’s go over to the bar and get Pizzoed…” or “Better not talk to Rick right now. He’s pretty Pizzed off about something.”
Delaware @ Navy (CSTV, 1:00) - Pete Medhurst, Scott Zolak
Scott Zolak. Doesn’t his last name sound like an erectile dysfunction drug? “Well, it’s date night so I am going to pop a few Zolak’s and hope for the best.”
USC @ Oregon (FSN, 3:00) - Barry Tompkins, Petros Papdakis, Jim Watson
My boy Petros is making the scene in Eugene with “The Fossil”, Barry Tompkins. I heard Petros tried to throw Tompkins a birthday party last week, but the fire marshal wouldn’t allow him to 
put the correct number of candles on Tompkins cake because it was a fire hazard.
I did some checking and found out Petros has a My Space Page. Here’s the link: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=72792070
By the way, that is a picture of Petros (left), and not Screech from Saved by the Bell...
Georgia v. Florida (CBS, 3:30) - Verne Lundquist, Gary Danielson, Tracy Wolfson
Call Best Buy. I think Coach B is coming in on Sunday.
Nebraska @ Texas (ABC, 3:30) - Ron Franklin, Ed Cunningham, Jack Arute
“The King” will be in Austin to see the Huskers and Horns play. If he asks what happened to Bevo, tell him Paul Manure was in Austin a few weeks ago and wanted a late night snack…
Rice @ Marshall (ESPNU, 4:30) - Tom Hart, Trev Alberts
Does anyone want to watch this game on Saturday? Yeah, anyone with a death wish since “The Junior Genius” Trev Alberts is there. Whenever I hear Alberts speak, I tell everyone, “Quiet please. The man is trying to be dull.”
Mailbag
I got some seriously pissed off people emailing me last week. I got a scathing email from Aunt Molly, who was not observing the Wednesday Rule (The Sarge does not like to talk about a Tennessee loss until Wednesday). She emailed, called and even drove over to the Fulmer Bunker looking for me. I felt like I was Charlie Steiner, and Evander Holyfield was chasing me, “Hey, Sarge! Come out and get your whoopin’!” She hasn’t been this mad since the night against Georgia in 2003 when she had to be restrained from running down the stairs in Neyland Stadium to try to tackle Sean Jones when he returned a Clausen fumble for a TD.
Sgt. Scooter:
If Florida loses one more SEC game, and we win the rest of our SEC games, we will go to the championship. The key game is Kentucky. We just sill have to believe. I was watching the Alabama game and I will tell you, I wanted to throw up, I stepped outside to cool off, and I thought of something. These things happen and sometimes you are in over your head, but the only to fight this quicksand is to fight back. Fight for life!
I wanted to let the Tennessee fans know that I will be airing a pep talk about the Tennessee football team on YouTube. It should be up by Thursday. My YouTube account is RockyToptoNeyland.
Vols91
Thanks, Vols91!
Let me tell you this guy is a real Tennessee fan and I appreciate his emails. When you get a chance on Thursday, go to his site and see the video. I am sure it will be great and we all can enjoy watching it.
As far as the game, I agree, I felt like the drunk mother in Any Given Sunday as I just stared at the TV with a blank look on my face. I would have thrown up, but I was so nervous before the game, I didn’t eat or drink, so there was nothing to toss, except the TV, but that would have caused the tragic downfall of the Sarge on many levels of married life, so I thought better of it. Question, I know we want our Vols to win, but as bad as we have played this year, are the Big Orange worthy of being called SEC East champs if they should luck out and get into the title game? Just something to think about. Can’t wait to see your video!
Sarge:
I am sitting here at the computer and really don't know what to say, except that I can't believe that we have lost to 2 of our biggest rivals that I can remember. Old School - (Alabama) and New School - (Florida) and BOTH losses have been the worst losses in around 20 years ! I really am speechless and heartbroken at the same time.
I think I am going to have to stock up on some of your "Daddy's Apple Juice". I have already been spending more time in my man cave, and my family thinks I have gone into hibernation. I told them that I just need a lot of time to reflect and do lots of praying.......
GO VOLS !!! BEAT THE GAMECOCKS !
PFC Tim Munsey
BIG ORANGE ARMY
Thanks, Tim. I know what you mean when you lose to two of the teams that you must beat e
very year. I a
m also pissed about the way we played. Good to see you are taking steps to overcome your misery. I will send you some of Daddy’s Apple Juice right away since we can’t leave our fellow solders behind when they need help. Do you need any of my Foghat CD’s? If you really are desperate, try some Dokken as a last resort.
Scoot:
Wasn't that an impressive display of Tennessee football? I can no longer support coach Fulmer after witnessing that debacle. I believe that was the worst-coached Tennessee team I've seen in 21 years. I think it's time for Coach to bow out------if he really cares for his alma-mater.
Tony
DISGUSTED IN ALABAMA
Hello Tony!
I agree that it was not one of our better days on the gridiron and I am embarrassed by their effort and performance. I respect your opinion that Fulmer must go, and I have read several emails from great Vol fans like you that have written the same thing. Who would make the best replacement if Fulmer left? Should they keep Fulmer and fire Chavis? I would be interested to read your thoughts.
Sergeant:
I gotta say this. I know Alabama is a huge game. Always has been. But it was so obvious to me throughout that the officiating crew was NOT going to allow Tennessee the opportunity to get established. I'd much prefer to say that we got beat by a better team, but I don't believe we did. Couple that with Bama playing their game of the century, and there you go. I'd venture to even say some money changed hands on this deal. I'm dead serious. I've never seen anything like it. Now, I have to listen to these idiots for a year like they've won the national championship. Tell me what you think.
Hello Paul Vol!
I will send you a plane ticket to anywhere you want to go in Tennessee if that would help since I know how bad the Bama fans can be. If they give you too much crap, just say, “Well, at least we have more victories (10) over you than you have had coaching changes (5) since ‘95…”
I think they officiating was a little off on both sides but the reason we lost is we had no clue on how to stop Bama’s offense. We also gave up an onsides kick on the opening play, which goes to show they had a much more creative game plan. Offensively, where was Monterio Hardesty? I read the coaches forgot to put him in. You know that’s a poor excuse since he is one of the best running backs on the team. From top to bottom on Saturday, we were whipped by a better football team in all aspects of the game. Period. Now the only question is can the Vols rebound and make it interesting at the end of the year?
I would like to welcome a new member to the Big Orange Army, Sharon Shirley who sent me a very nice email. I know after last week’s debacle, you are ready to jump on a C-130 transport and leave the Big Orange Nation, and I felt the same way. However, after I slept off the loss, as well as a canteen full of “Daddy Apple Juice,” I know there is still a lot of football to be played, and for now, I am just hoping they play well. Email me anytime, Sharon, I appreciate all the great Vols like you who take time to send me a message!
All right, Vol fans, that is it for this week. Lick your wounds, and find the TV on Saturday night since the Vols are going to need your support when Carolina comes to town in a critical game in the SEC. Rub those orange and white rosaries, repeat your game maxims and never take Coach Fulmer’s name in vain. Go Big Orange!
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